The Twelve Dates of Xmas
I have been publishing a few cryptic status updates on Facebook recently in regards to the many suitors during my crazy dating life. Since heading back online, i have had some super horror that is weird (that we’ll conserve for the subsequent entry) however for now, I was thinking you would enjoy an even more in depth description regarding the males i am conversing with.
I take advantage of the term “men” instead loosely!
Suitor # 1: Name: JJ Age: 39 Height: 6’3 Job: Engineer Lives: longer Island OkCupid Match: a disappointing 69% he shall be called by us JJ, mostly because that’s the nickname just their sis is permitted to make use of. From other people, he hates it. Kinda just like me with Kimmy. It is possible to phone me personally Kim, Kimberly, or Kimba, but also for the passion for all plain things holy, PLEASE try not to phone me personally Kimmy. (Unless you are my small cousin. He calls me personally Timmy. Cutest thing ever! ) JJ and I also have already been dating for all months. We came across on the internet and their writing hooked me personally above whatever else. He is exceptionally smart, specialized in their work, well look over, super nerdy, and incredibly high. Our times have actually included pizza and guy of Steel, per day during the coastline, and a swanky supper with their friends among countless others. We have been therefore very good together. We knew I liked him fairly in the beginning, and would gladly call it quits my solitary woman status for a genuine relationship with JJ. Since he is not “ready” to be exclusive / devoted to me personally, he stated which he’s “completely okay” with me personally conversing with other dudes. We occur to understand that he’s NOT okay using this, however if that is what he desires me personally to do, than We’ll take action. Go into the remaining portion of the Suitors. Reputation: UNKNOWN
Suitor #2: Name: My Colleague’s Father’s company Partner’s Son — you might have find out about him in the last web log entry, My husband to be. Age: 29 Height: 6’0 Job: Construction worker everyday everyday Lives: has his own house on longer Island OkCupid match: No clue, although I would personally want to discover! My teammate at the job wished to set me personally up with number 2 over a 12 months ago, and through a number of circumstances, we never ever met. He finally got my quantity so we’ve been texting for many days. We’ve had a couple of good calls, however the most disappointing thing had been which he had been a cigarette smoker. Instant deal breaker for me personally.
Suitor #3: title: Dan Age: 38 Height: 6’0 Job: IT for the appropriate company in NYC life: Astoria OkCupid Match: 82% Dan and I also had been speaking previously come july 1st, before i obtained afraid of males (which actually means i recently did not need to get harmed once again! ) He delivered great messages, filled with witty remarks and humor that is insightful. He is smart and easy to speak with and made me feel immediately comfortable. Before we took my profile straight down for many months, we delivered Dan this message: “Hey, I got some individual material taking place right now, so am using my profile straight down for a time. If you should be nevertheless on here whenever I reactivate it (which for your benefit i am hoping you are not), you will end up the very first individual We message. ” Would not you understand it, a month or two later on we updated my profile and within twenty four hours of signing on, Dan penned for me. He stated, “Hey, i am hoping you needed to sort everything out that you took the time. Every couple was checked by me of times to see if you were online once again. We missed speaking with you. Welcome back. ” And simply that way, Dan and I also began interacting every single day. He is also simpler to speak to now him better that I know. We share loves of bacon, jazz, Cards Against Humanity, new york, farmer’s areas, and nation music. Dan and I also just take photos of y our text and food them to one another on a regular basis. I am called by him from the supermarket to state such things as ” We have pasta and eggs in the home. So what can we make with 
this? ” and I also talk him through the aisles to produce one thing delicious. Our very first telephone call had been as he had been wandering the supermarket, also it felt so normal. It felt like us. Status: ACTIVE
Suitor # 4: title: Steve Age: 32 Height: 5’11 Job: Gas fireplace repairman life: longer Island (solution eastern) OkCupid Match: 89% Steve and I also began speaing frankly about our provided passion for tea. The time that is first texted me personally, we had both just sat right down to a hot glass of Trader Joe’s Pomegranate White Tea! Of all teas in the field to be consuming at that time, fate tossed us in to the same steamy glass. We took this as being a good indication, and then we had many hour-long calls. Steve provided me with their last title so of course I facebook stalked him. (Sorry people but it is 2013 — knowledge is energy! ) There have been a few pictures of him having a child that is small but he’d never pointed out a young child prior to. Their twitter handle had been on the website, therefore I looked that up too. The absolute most present tweet had been “My crazy bitch of a ex spouse whom hates me personally aided by the fire of a lot of suns is stalking my twitter feed. Get fucking figure! ” there have been a few other explicit tweets about just getting 4 hours per week together with his son, her being psycho, the whole world generally sucking ass. I do not judge anybody according to their social networking, but that may seem like too much luggage for us to manage right off the bat. Sorry, Steve. Status: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF ANGRY TWEETS
Suitor #12: title: The Pianist Age: 31 Height: 6’0 Job: Concert Pianist and Piano Teacher Lives: New Jersey (ugh) OkCupid Match: 93% The Pianist is incredibly achieved, educated, cultured, well look over, and well traveled. He spends the majority of their amount of time in Manhattan and decided to inhabit nj-new jersey for the scene of NYC. He could’ve resided in Brooklyn for the views of our reasonable skyline, but he prefers the impression of suburbia amidst the city that is big. He could be additionally a fan of inexpensive fuel, low fees, and an extensive selection of malls. He plays piano at anything from business activities to parties that are private concert halls. He shows pupils through the protege that is youngest into the collegiate elite. He’s type and thoughtful and keeps in touch just sufficient so me, but not so much as to scare me away that I know he’s thinking of. He is Armenian, that I knew absolutely absolutely nothing about except that the Kardashians are Armenian. (excuse me ahead of time to your whole nation of Armenia that the Kardashian clan may be the thing that is only learn about your nation! Really, i did not even comprehend that much. The Pianist explained! ) He is wonderful to date and I also am extremely excited to make the journey to understand him better. Reputation: ACTIVE
Suitor #13: Name: Nick the Dick Age: an overgrown adolescent Height: gutter Job: irritating individuals everyday lives: in a dark and dirty destination OkCupid Match: this is certainly simply absurd Alright, I’m sure that I said there were twelve times of xmas, but I experienced to toss this one on once and for all measure. Bad, unlucky thirteen. Nick ended up being charming sufficient online but whilst the saying goes, “Good in some recoverable format, shit in real world. ” Nick skipped within the texting area of the on the web progression that is dating called me the moment he got my quantity. He had been really talkative (a lot of so! ) and I also could not get a term in edgewise. He said which he does not have confidence in love being all “doves and butterflies and performing and shit. Love is not that way. It is crap in most cases. You have simply surely got to find some body you can easily tolerate. ” He additionally stated that whenever increasing kids, “it’s best to simply place a sack over their heads often so that they shut up and listen. Guess what happens they do say about physical physical violence: whether it’s not working, you aren’t utilizing an adequate amount of it! ” Last but not least, as he asked what my weirdest online dating sites experience happens to be, we told him in regards to the man week that is last desired to pee on (with? ) me. Nick’s reaction had been “and so I guess letting me simply take a shit for you has gone out regarding the concern, cause you are a prude? ” Status: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF HAVE YOU BEEN KIDDING that is FUCKING ME.